Posted: May 15, 2013 in Uncategorized



Approaches to parenting vary. How you parent – your parenting style – is influenced by your own parents, your personality, what you learn from people around you, the stresses you face in your life, and your child’s personality and behaviour. The following are types of parenting styles:

Authoritarian parenting
An authoritarian parent has all the power. Decisions are made for the child, without discussion or explanation. Authoritarian parenting is cold and firm. 

Indulgent parenting
Indulgent parents allow children to have a lot of power. Boundaries are not set or enforced. Indulgent parenting is warm and soft. 

Indifferent parenting
An indifferent parent may not show much interest in the child’s needs. Life is centred on the parent. Indifferent parenting may also swing between indulgent and authoritarian styles, so there is a lack of consistent parenting. Children don’t know how to behave or what to expect. 

Authoritative parenting
In authoritative parenting, parents set clear boundaries and children are allowed some power within those boundaries. Authoritative parenting is warm and firm. Authoritative parenting has been shown to have the best outcomes for young people. 

Abusive parenting
Abusive parents hurt their children. Abusive parenting includes emotional, physical or sexual abuse and neglect. Abusive parenting causes lasting damage and must be stopped.

Parents in a family often have different parenting styles. One may be strict and the other more lenient. One may be more affectionate and the other colder. This is not a bad thing. Both sides usually have some good parts. They can balance each other out. 

However, it is important for parents to work together, even when their styles are different. They must agree on the rules, and support each other in enforcing them. 

Even when parents have trouble getting along with each other, they should try to talk to each other and come to an agreement about parenting. It is important not to undermine the other parent, or keep secrets with the child.

Research shows teenagers benefit from being monitored. They do better when their parents keep an eye on them, checking where they are going and having arrangements about where they are and when they must come home. This tends to be easier when they are in early adolescence and gets harder as they get older. There comes a point when they decide for themselves what they are going to do and where they are going to go. 

It is normal – healthy, in fact – for teenagers to keep some secrets from their parents. But it is best to have as open a relationship as possible, so they feel comfortable coming to you for advice when they need to.

If your parenting style has been too strict or too passive, inconsistent or abusive you should try to change. 

It is challenging to change the way you behave with your children. You have habits and attitudes that are hard to break. Your children are used to the way that things have been. They are likely to resist change. But it can be done and it is worth the effort to build a better relationship.



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